Mr. Angry: Entrepreneurial Marriage Adviser

The crowd at the Moaning Cow public house gasped with admiration as their hero unveiled his new business venture.

“I, Mr. Emmeline Pankhurst, Mother Teresa, Dr. Spock, Angry.”

“Get on with it you drunk” yelled the man at the fruit machine.

“I must help younger people secure better marriages. That is why I have founded ‘Weddings “R” Us’. Please send me your cheque for £1,000 to get some free shares.”

“What’s free about them, Mr. Angry?” asked a lady in the second row.

“I am dedicating my time to marriage harmony.”

“But Mr. Angry” said a teenager at the back row. “National Statistics just published show that divorce rate is at a 30-year low.”

“That’s numbers I say. Look around you. There’s unhappiness everywhere.”

“Where are our Christmas Club hampers, you fraud?” shouted a big man with tattoos.

“My Zack and I are getting wedded, Mr. Angry” continued the teenager. “The national statistics show that the divorce rate for couples married after 2005 is down 24%.”

“Which shows how successful my efforts are” shouted the entrepreneur.

“You haven’t started trading yet” cried a voice from the back.

“And for those married after 2009” offered the teenager “the rate is down 48%. Zack and I will be so happy.”

“Mr. Angry” cried Rita the bar maid. “Your marriage guidance counsellor has just phoned. Mrs. Angry will be out of A & E in three hours time. Mr. Angry?”

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