Have you ever had one of those days when everything conspires to embarrass you in front of your peers, friends, family and random people you happen to meet along the way?
I’ve just had one of those days…
I have been running a course in Bedford. It’s easy to get to from Edinburgh – taxi to the airport at 5.30am, easyJet to Luton, bus to train station, train to Bedford, taxi to the business park.
Okay, now to the first embarrassing moment. You can use your i-phone as your boarding card. Just download a QR code and Robert’s your uncle. I’d used this service before with no issues… last time I took a paper back up copy which wasn’t needed.
This time, though, as I stood at the entrance to security at Edinburgh Airport I knew something was badly wrong. Oh My God, my downloaded boarding card wasn’t going to work. I could hear people behind me tutting and feel their disapproving eyes boring into the back of my neck.
The gates just weren’t going swoosh apart to let me in. The queue was building up and in desperation I moved on to the next entry point.
Magically and mercifully the gates parted. I spent the next half an hour in a blind funk though. What if my boarding card didn’t work at the gate? It did, without a hint of a problem.
As I got onto the bus that shuttles people to the railway station I realised I only had notes… no coins. I apologised to the driver who gave me a withering look and gave me a Bank of Ireland £5 note for change… thanks pal.
I delivered my training session but got a coughing fit half way through. During the time I was doubled over trying to get my breath back I noticed my flies were undone, at which point I sneezed into my hand…
Finally, and this is by far the worst of my toe curling moments, I had an incident on board easyJet.
On the flight I thought I’d have a cup of hot brown.
The biscuit chucker advised me this would be the very reasonable price of £2.40 and if I had the right change it would be much appreciated. I knew I had change in the front pocket of my rucksack so I reached down (it was under the seat) and closed my hand around the change and a couple of other things that I didn’t know were in there.
Without looking I opened my hand for the lady to sort the change she needed and wondered why she went so pale.
I looked at my open palm. Indeed there was £3.00 in assorted coinage but nestling between the coins were three items of what I can only describe as, ummm, sanitary essentials.
I was in the window seat and was reaching across 2 sniggering school girls.
I think I’ll just go to bed.