Despite sweltering in the heat wave the crowds filling the Moaning Cow Public House gasped in surprise when their hero announced that he was becoming the new Labour leader.
“I, Mr. Tony Blair, Hugh Gaitskell, Ramsay MacDonald, Lloyd-George, Angry.”
“He was the Liberal Leader who led the Coalition Government in the First World War, you drunk” shouted the man at the fruit machine.
“I am pleased to inform you that the leader of the United Fans union, Ben McCluskey, announced yesterday at the Durham Miners’ Gala, that I, Mr….”
“He said nothing of the sort” shouted a man in the third row. “I was there. He talked about united policies.”
“He would have said, if there had been time, that the Labour leader David Miliband is history. The Party needs someone with courage and dash. That is me, Mr Gordon Brown…”
“He bankrupted the country didn’t he Mr. Angry?” asked the lady who was checking Mrs. Angry’s lottery tickets.
The orator paused to drink his tenth pint of Australian lager and a whiskey chaser.
The Coalition leader Mince Fable is reeling from the bad news. Nigel Barrage of UKGOV is scaring them silly. It is time for the Labour Party to become dominant. That is why I’m the new leader. I shall appoint a new chancellor, George Galloway. This is what makes me different. My courage and vision.”
“But Mr. Angry. The last leader suffered from poor image. Look at your face. It’s pox marked” said a lady in the front row.
“The British public will know better. They will hear my words, my vision, my leadership. I never presume, just earn.”
“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita the bar maid. “Labour Central Office are on the phone. You misunderstood them. They are appointing you leader of the dispatch room. You misheard the word ‘post’. Mr Angry…”