The supporters of Mr. Angry were aghast at his fury expressed during a monologue at the Moaning Cow public house.
“I, Mr. Lincoln, Pankhurst, Churchill, Obama Angry MP.”
“Get on with it you drunk” shouted the man playing the fruit machine.
He called for his fifth pint of lager and third whisky chaser.
“It is unacceptable that I must work for 145 days in 2014. My golf handicap will suffer if I don’t play three times a week.”
“What’s this MP stuff?” asked a lady in the third row.
“I am the official UKIP candidate in the coming by-election and I’ll win. My brand of politics is what the people want. Increase the benefits for all immigrants, open up our borders to the Turks and the people from the Ukraine. Free health care from the moment they reach Dover. Lovely housing for everybody. No wonder I’m so popular.”
“But why will you work 145 days Mr. Angry? You’ll be exhausted” said Mrs. Angry.
“It’s the Scots who are to blame. Because their Referendum is to be held on 18 September next year, the Lib-dems are having to move their conference and this will reduce the time Parliament sits by one week.”
“But this is a safe Labour seat Mr. Angry. How can you win for UKIP?”
“Because I, Mr. Braveheart Angry MP say the things other people shy away from. I advocate double unemployment pay for all travellers who come here from Latvia.”
“Is that where your Parliamentary secretary originates from Mr. Angry?”
“That’s nothing to do with it. All doctors should be judged on the benefits they approve. More payouts, more salary.”
“Mr. Angry” cried Rita the bar maid. “It’s Nigel Farage on the phone. He says UKIP does not stand for the UK Inclusion Party and you are de-selected with immediate effect. Mr. Angry….”