Mr. Angry is ‘Wongaful

B“My friends” yelled Mr. Angry “I, Montgomery Roosevelt Angry’, am going to make you all multi-millionaires.”

The cheers rang out at the Sunday lunchtime meeting of Mr. Angry’s disciples at the Moaning Cow public house.

“Count me in” shouted the man at the fruit machine. “How?”

“Call it my Goldman Sach’s moment” continued the sage of East End London. “I’m arranging to buy thousands of loans from Wonga, repackage them as securities issued by my finance company ‘Angry Trust Bank’, and sell them on to the Shanghai Stock Exchange.”

“Can I give you my cheque now Mr. Angry” shouted a lady who was holding Mrs. Angry’s ball of wool.

“But they’ve a million loans not being repaid on time” said a thoughtful watcher at the back.”

“I’m only buying good loans” answered Mr. Angry.

“They wrote off £77 million in bad debts in 2011” he continued.

“Teething problems” retorted Mr. Angry as he consumed his fifth pint of strong lager.

“The average loan is £257. You’ll have a lot of checking to do.”

“I’m a workaholic” cried the entrepreneur.

“They charge up to 4,200% interest Mr. Angry” said a woman in the fifth row.

“Isn’t it wonderful” replied their leader.

“How are you going to pay for them?” shouted somebody.

“I’m rather liquid at the moment” he answered.

“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita the bar maid. “It’s Wonga on the telephone. Your £200 will be in your account in an hour. They said that seventeen loans are as far as you can go.”

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