Mr. Angry was in dazzling form as he addressed his supporters at the Moaning Cow Public House.
“I, Mr. Mother Teresa, humanity, Abraham Lincoln, Tony Blair…”
“Who did you say, you drunk?” yelled the man at the fruit machine.
Mr. Angry finished his fifth pint of lager and ordered some more whisky chasers.
“My great friend, the Business Secretary, Wince Fable…”
“Mr. Angry” interrupted Mrs. Angry. “You said last week that he’s too old to join Saga.”
“Me and Wince are close. He’s announced that I’m to head up the Government scheme to help smaller businesses.”
“Hang on Mr. Angry” said a man in the third row. “I’m just reading about this in my Sunday paper: it says that
“A new £1m sector mentoring challenge fund will be established to enable firms to benefit from support and advice from experienced business people in their own field of work.”
“Exactly” exploded Mr. Angry. “That’s me. I will help owners and managers…”
“There’s more” read the man. “There’s a whole package of schemes.”
“If they start a Christmas fund tell them to hold on to the money themselves” said the man in the back row. Some applause broke out.
“I will offer so much wisdom and experience. I will transform business in the UK.”
“Mr. Angry” cried Rita the bar maid. “Mr. Cable is on the phone. He meant the lending challenge. Apparently you’ve failed to repay more business loans to banks than anybody else in the…er…Mr. Angry.”