Mr. Angry is the new Downing Street adviser

The packed crowd of adoring followers, at the Moaning Cow public house, greeted Mr. Angry’s Sunday lunchtime announcement with ecstatic applause.

“Friends” he cried. “Andrew Cooper has gone. He failed as the Prime Minister’s polling guru.”

“I liked him” said the man at the fruit machine. “He supported gay marriage. Cecil, can I have another Babycham, Love.”

“I, Mr. Alistair Campbell, Saatchi, Emap Angry have been selected to be the new No.10 supremo.”

“So what policies will you be advocating Mr. Angry?” asked the man in the third row.

“I shall win the next general election by proposing ideas for ordinary people. I’ll reduce the top rate of income tax to 10%. I’ll scrap VAT.”

“Lynton Crosby, the Australian ‘fixer’ now runs the country Mr. Angry. It’s he who ousted Andrew Cooper.”

“No Australian gets rid of me” cried Mr. Angry.

“That’s what Andrew Cooper thought” said a man at the back

“But how come you’ve been selected by the Prime Minister for the position?” asked Mrs. Angry.

“Ed Miliband and I are very close. I secured the union votes for him in this area.”

“But you’ve been blackballed by the union after the holiday fund went missing” stated a woman in the back tier.

“That was a misunderstanding. Ed knows the value of my advice.”

“Mr. Angry” cried Rita the bar maid. “There’s a Mr. Crosby on the phone. He’s sending somebody to see you. Name of Crocodile Dundee. Mr. Angry….?”

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