Mr Angry is the new Chelsea manager

Despite the cries of “Arsenal”, “Spurs for ever” and “Hammers”, the announcement by Mr. Angry, at the Sunday lunchtime gathering at the Moaning Cow public house, produced mayhew.

“I, Mr. Ranieri, Mourinho, Grant, Hiddink, Ancellotti, Villas-Boas de Matteo Angry have been appointed the new manager of Chelsea Football Club. I spoke to the owner, Morman Obrimovoch, this morning and we agreed that Benitez is dust.”

“The only game you know Mr. Angry is fiddlesticks” shouted the man at the fruit machine.

“That’s the trouble with this country. People lack ambition. Look at Me – Mr. Angry. I’m an example of what can be achieved.”

“How did you persuade the owner to employ you Mr. Angry?” asked Mrs. Angry.

“I said to Norman that the 3 – 2 defeat to Newcastle was unacceptable. It is time an entrepreneur like myself steadied the ship.”

“What about Torres?” shouted a voice.

“I’ve already sold him to MK Dons for £200,000. Morman was thrilled by my business sense.”

“Are you going to sell Frank Mr. Angry?” asked a fan.

“I shall be honest in all my dealings” replied the new football manager. “The UK economy is in a mess. It needs patriotic Englishmen like Norman and me to pull things round.”

“Do all the players pay UK tax Mr. Angry?” asked a supporter.

“Norman said something about I’d be paid from Siberia.”

“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita the bar maid “Mr. Abramovich is on the phone. Can you fly over to Monaco. He wants you to join him on his £1 billion yacht Eclipse. He’s going shark fishing. Apparently you’re the bait.

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