The crowd at the Sunday gathering of the Moaning Cow public house roared in their appreciation of a great entrepreneur as he spoke to them. He had finished his five pints of German lager and two whisky chasers.
“I, Mr. Foxtons, Hamptons, Chesterton, Savills Angry am proud to announce that…”
“Get on with it you drunk” shouted the man playing the fruit machine.
“I will be helping with the recovery of our great nation.”
The applause rang out and the ladies started to sing ‘Land of Hope and Glory’.
“The number of British estate agents has risen to an all-time high. The property sector now employs 562,000 people which is a rise of 100,000.”
“What about the housing bubble that they are worried about?” asked the man in the third row.
“I, Mr. Persimmon, Barratt Angry, never worry about anything. While I can con the Government out of its cheap money policy, why should I worry?”
“Is it true Mr. Angry that you’ve been paying couples to apply for mortgages through your ‘Trust Mr. Angry’ scheme. They just have to put down £100 with you first” asked the lady who was helping Mrs Angry check her bingo numbers.
“The average price of a new home round here is now £249,199 which is an increase of £20,000 on a year ago. It is my duty to help young people get on the housing ladder. The 25% Government scheme means I can screw the banks and building societies while I help the nation to recover from adversity.”
The cheers rang out and they started to sing ‘Jerusalem.’
“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita the bar maid. “The Building Society are on the phone. They’re repossessing your house in the morning.