“It is not true” shouted Mr. Angry to a packed Sunday crowd in the Moaning Cow public house. They had been asking for an explanation for the lurid newspaper headlines.
“I, Mr. Saatchi, Jason Statham, Mike Tyson Angry, did not put my hands around the neck of my beloved Mrs. Angry.” He paused as he drank his fifth pint of strong Australian lager.
“We all know that Mrs. Angry is a celebrity maker of Angry foods. She is an entrepreneur who brings happiness to everyone who meets her.”
“So why did you throttle her, you drunk?” shouted the man at the fruit machine.
“Mrs. Angry is a hard working business person. She gets no support from her bank, she is hounded by the VAT inspector and the Inland Revenue keep writing her letters.” He paused while he drank his third whisky chaser.
“I said to Mrs Angry only this week, while the doctor was putting on her bandages, there’s a report out from the Business Minister, Mince Gable, that small businesses are being starved of credit. I was so angry I..er…”
“Is that where Mrs. Angry got her black eye, you pervert” should a man in the third row.
“The photograph misrepresented my intentions and I will be taking legal action under the Human Rights Act. I’m sure that if I offer the judge an Angry Meat Pie, I will be vindicated.”
“Why has Mrs Angry removed her wedding ring Mr. Angry?” asked the lady holding her bingo cards.
“She has a reaction to gold” cried Mr. Angry.”Anyway it was a fake. I’ve pawned her original ring.”
“So are you having help with your temper Mr. Angry?” asked a lady at the front.
“It is true that the doctor has said my benefits will be stopped if I don’t agree to attend the clinic.”
“Mr. Angry” yelled Rita the bar maid. “It’s the surgery on the telephone. Your anger management class has been cancelled. It seems the therapist remembers your last visit and has resigned…..Mr. Angry?”