The Sunday lunchtime crowd at the Moaning Cow public house were staggered at the power of Mr. Angry’s rhetoric. The applause rang out as he attacked the incompetence of the Coalition Government’s failure to help SMEs.
“They called it ‘The Red Tape Challenge’” he cried “but have they reduced the mountain of regulations?” He sank another pint of strong lager. “No, my friends, they have not.”
He was now warming to his theme.
“They pledged to cut or improve 85% of health and safety rules. 300 organisations have made representations. What has changed? Nothing, my faithful admirers. Nothing!”
No-one could now stop the great orator.
“They promised to ‘light a bonfire’ under poor regulations. Yet my friends at the CBI..”
“Who Mr. Angry?” asked the man at the fruit machine.
“The Confederation of British Industry, you berk” shouted Mrs. Angry’s best friend.
“Them as well.” He ordered another pint of lager. “The CBI says new directives will cost £178m a year. It’s a scandal my friends.” He drank half his pint. “What is more they said they’d sort out the increasing number of personal injury claims which is costing business millions.”
“What about the Enterprise and Regulatory Reform Bill due in April Mr. Angry? It’ll help reduce these claims” asked a newcomer to these events. “And what about the reduced number of Health and Safety visits?”
“I haven’t time for nip picking” shouted Mr. Angry.
“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita the bar maid. “The Benefits Office has just phoned. If you can sign form 3427C/X where indicated, have your passport certified, supply two recent utility bills, countersign the QE/398/2013 declaration, confirm your Mother’s maiden name and be there at 9.00am tomorrow, they’ll let you have your holiday travel vouchers.”
“Tell them I’ll be there” he cried.