“Lord Davies is right” cried Mr. Angry at the Sunday lunchtime meeting of his followers at the Moaning Cow public house “there should be more women on the boards of British companies.” He finished his third pint of strong Australian lager before continuing. “That is why I, Mr. Gallant Philogynist Angry, am starting the ‘Angry Placement Bureau’. I aim to have twenty additional ladies on the Boards of FTSE 100 companies within six months.”
“But Mr. Angry” cried a man at the fruit machine “the statistics tells us that equal representation has gone in the other direction. Only 17% of board seats in blue chip companies are now held by women.”
“I will not stand here and listen to the cause of women being dismissed in this way” yelled Mr. Angry.
“Lord Davies’s target is 25% Mr. Angry” said Mrs. Angry as she sipped her Mother’s Day treble brandy.
“That is why the ‘Angry Placement Bureau’ can serve the nation. Come on ladies. Register with me. £1,000 will put you at the top of the list.”
“We can’t all be top of the list Mr. Angry. You said you’ve signed up fifty candidates.”
“Mr. Angry” asked a man in the third row. “What have you to say about Amy Stirling who resigned as chief financial officer of TalkTalk this week.”
“An isolated case”
“And Stacey Cartwright who resigned as CFO of Burberry recently.”
“And Dame Marjorie Scardino who is leaving Pearson.”
“I will not allow negative thinking” ordered Mr. Angry. My nation needs me. That is why the ‘Angry Placement Bureau’ is certain to be a success.
“Mr. Angry” cried Rita the bar maid “The Chairman of Barclays Bank is on the phone. Your application to have Miss Zsa Zsa, Griselda Angry appointed to the Board of the Bank has been declined. Also could you please contact their Recoveries Division who urgently need to talk to you. Please ask for Ms. Rosa Klebb.”