The Sunday crowd at the Moaning Cow public house realised that Mr. Angry was, unusually for him, in a thoughtful mood. He was on only his third pint of lager.
“Friends” he began. “I, Mr. Humane, Corporate Governance, Pankhurst Angry agree with Lord Davies.”
He was referring to Lord Davies of Abersoch who has been commissioned to increase the number of women on the boards of listed companies. His latest report shows that
+ women now account for 17.3% of all directorships, up from 10.5% in 2010
+ in the last two years women have represented 34% of all board appointments (45 out of 134)
+ there are now 94 boards with female representation
+ there are 192 women directors on FTSE 100 boards
“It is visionaries like my close friend Lord Davies and I that are changing the landscape of British industry.”
“You mean they are less likely to go bust than you, you drunk” shouted the man at the fruit machine.
“Women, like my beloved Mrs. Angry, bring wisdom and judgement to corporate UK.”
“She married you. Is that judgement?” asked a man in the third row.
“Britain is coming out of recession because of the power of our women directors.”
“Can you name one Mr. Angry?” asked a lady holding Mrs. Angry’s bingo cards.
“The Foreign Secretary, Teresa May”
“Mr. Angry” cried Rita the bar maid. “Lord Davies is on the phone. The word he meant was “bored”. Please stop writing letters proposing Mrs. Angry as a director of Marks and Spencer. Er…Mr. Angry?”