The Sunday crowd at the Moaning Cow public house was staggered by the announcement from their hero.
“I, Mr. Ghengis Khan, Napoleon, Roosevelt, Thatcher, De Gaulle Angry.”
“Get on with it you drunk” shouted the man at the fruit machine.
The intrepid orator finished his fifth pint of lager and ordered three more whisky chasers.
“I am proud that I have been named by Forbes Magazine as the most powerful person in the world.”
“That’s impressive Mr. Angry” said Mrs. Angry as she finished knitting her winter coat. “Is that the one that shows naked girls?”
“I have replaced Barack Obama who has been number one since 2009.”
“Who’s he?” asked a man in the third row.
“It’s important for the UK that I’m performing well because David Cameron has dropped to number eleven.”
“Who’s he?” asked a lady further back.
“Michael Noer, executive editor at Forbes, said that ‘there is a fundamental difference between a good person and a powerful person’” continued Mr. Angry.
“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita the bar maid. “The executive editor’s PA at Forbes is on the phone. You are number one in their list – of the most doleful people in the world. You’ve had more in social security payments than anybody else…Mr. Angry?”
NOTE: The Forbes list reads as follows:
1.Vladimir Putin 2. Barack Obama 3. XI Jinping (General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party) 4.Pope Francis 5. Angela Merkel 6. Bill Gates 7. Ben Bernanke 8.Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud (King of Saudi Arabia) 9. Mario Draghi 10. Michael Duke (CEO: Wal-Mart) 11. David Cameron.