The much used word ‘brilliant’ cannot be understated when applied to Mr. Angry’s latest entrepreneurial scheme. This he announced at the Sunday gathering of his followers in the Moaning Cow public house.
“£250,000 a year. That is my promise. Would I ‘Mr. Brown, Blair, Mandelson, Miliband Angry’ ever mislead you, my friends?”
“What about my Christmas Hamper contributions?” yelled the man at the fruit machine.
“All you need to do is give me £150 in cash and within three months you’ll be earning £250,000 minimum.”
“But how does the scheme work Mr. Angry?” asked a man in the third row.
Their hero downed another pint of strong lager.
“In two day’s time you will receive a bike which will have a distinctive basket on the front. You ride it into Downing Street and go up to the policemen on the gates. You yell out “Up yours Mr. Plod” and wait to be arrested.”
“How does that get me the salary?” asked the lady holding Mrs. Angry’s ball of wool.
“Easy. Within three months the Prime Minister and his wife will invite you to their country residence ‘Draughts’ and tell you that you are being made an EU Commissioner on £250,000 annually.”
“But can you guarantee it will work Mr. Angry?”
“I can and I will” cried Mr. Angry. “I have a letter here from a Mr. A. Mitchell, formerly of “Whips R Us”. It reads ‘Dear Mr. Angry. I can confirm that the PM is doing me the honour of recognising my immense contribution to law and order by making me terribly and expensively important in Europe. Yours. Mitchell.”
“How do I get to Downing Street?” asked an older man.
“Use one of my bikes. They are the latest models.”
“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita, the bar maid. “The police are on the phone. Have you seen twenty two missing bicycles all with baskets on the front?”