Open thank you letter to Mr David Cameron
Dear Mr Cameron,
You have made clear to all of us the importance of small business to this country, so I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the strong support your government and support teams have shown us.
You have given the banks hundreds of billions which make them much healthier. This has given them time to contemplate their deeds leading up to 2007 and has resulted in a real clean up. Their balance sheets are stronger, their lending better controlled so we have no real access anymore so we do not waste their time and thousands of them are without jobs. A great result you should be proud of.
Your tax department has also shown some excellent work. Great companies like Google, Facebook, Amazon and skinny latte kings Starbucks are creating jobs so deserve not to pay tax. This has freed up your valuable tax department staff to concentrate on small businesses to ensure we do pay the taxes due.
Our company started last year and we are working hard to grow. The three of us pay ourselves generous salaries of £500 a month each and, being law abiding citizens, the company pays the tax each month. You cannot be too careful with an amount your lawyer friends will not even accept per hour, so we are so happy with the support provided by your tax department.
To our delight your tax department decided, unbeknownst to us, to put us on some kind of trial RTI. This was done before we could buy the software needed, an expense we have greatly enjoyed this year. As a result of this move by your tax department we could not file our year end as your systems would not allow the now outmoded manual filing once we were on this RTI system.
This gave us the opportunity to place a total of six telephone calls to your tax department, each lasting an average of 35 minutes. You might ask them to do something about the music played, but this is a side issue. The sixth call got us to a very helpful member of staff who simply corrected the file and after allowing 48 hours for the change to work through, we could file our year end.
We are especially grateful that we then received a fine of £104 for late filing – £100 for the fine and £4 because we did not pay the fine quickly enough. We realise your government needs every penny it can get, so we are delighted to , support it in this way and to ensure the big employers aforementioned do not have to pay taxes. After all, we only employ three people, whilst they employ thousands.
One sad move on our part – we tried to have the fine reversed. After all, it was due to your tax department changing us to a trial RTI without us knowing anything about it. Your strong team resisted this effort, so after another three telephone calls and some more of your delightful music we rolled over and decided you needed the money more than we do.
Oh, and just to make sure we stay focused, we have already had a call from one of your finest on the matter of VAT. After all, the grand total of some £4,000 has gone through the account, so best to get their early. We would not want that kind of money to go to some offshore account.
Mr Cameron, in summary, we are so thankful for having this opportunity to support the economy and for the support your government and support team have provided us.