Official: Mr. Angry and Nadine have separated

In the history of the Moaning Cow public house nobody can remember such a dramatic evening. Even Mr. Angry’s dressing down of Labour leader David Miliband for going into Coalition with UKIP seemed forgotten as he made his heart rendering statement to his adoring followers.

“Friends” he said in a quiet voice “me and Nadine. It’s over.”

He had seemed so happy now that Mrs. Angry had been provided with two mangles and was taking in so much washing that she was rarely seen. He talked constantly about how Nadine would be replacing George Osborne as Prime Minister.

“She’s a fantastic Member of Parliament” he had said. “Shy, self-effacing, committed to her bank balance by appearing on the media whenever she could.”

“She’s an entrepreneur” cried Mr. Angry.

When David Cameron said that Nadine Dorries was “frustrated”, Mr. Angry had smiled. “I think not” he had suggested.

So what has caused the break-up of this fairytale romance?

Not for the first the ‘Daily Mail’ is to blame. It published a picture of Nadine posing in a blue £1,299 silk dress by designer Oscar de la Renta on a table within the House of Commons terrace. “I wouldn’t want to do this every day, but it is fun” said the MP for Mid Bedfordshire. The photo-shoot was for ‘Tattler’ her branding of Dave and George as ‘posh boys’ long forgotten.

However the real reason for Ms Dorries renewed political energy is that she has been reprieved. Under the proposed constituency changes her seat would have merged with South West Beds where outstanding MP Andrew Selous would have slaughtered her in the election for the combined seat. The Lib-Dems have scuppered the boundary changes (in retaliation for the confusion over the reform of the House of Lords) and Ms. Dorries can be expected to continue as the controversial MP in Mid-Beds.

“We were so together” cried the plaintiff Mr. Angry. “She’s dumped me.” He added “she said I did not fit her image anymore.”

Further reporting was restricted because Mrs. Angry arrived to announce that the handle on her old mangle had broken again and if Mr. Angry did not mend it Nadine would not even recognise him.

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