The Friday night drinkers in the Moaning Cow public house gave Mr. Angry a standing ovation as he unveiled his plan to help Britain’s enterprising businesses.
“Brothers” he said after drinking half his fifth pint of strong lager “the National Health Service cannot meet the demands of business owners, managers and workers. It’s in this ‘Health of the Nation Report’ from Aviva. Listen to me my friends.”
“Your round Mr. Angry” yelled a customer from the lounge.
“I’m busy. It says that GPs are concerned about the provision of health services for a number of conditions: depression, stress, anxiety, obesity, Alzheimer’s, dementia, drugs and alcohol abuse and suicidal tendencies.”
“I’ve got all of those” shouted Rita the barmaid.
“Now friends I know the answer to the problem. Tax relief on private medical insurance premiums.”
“Er..what..who..Mr. Angry?” came a voice from near the One Armed Bandit.
“Every day millions of us go to work in our businesses and experience our health problems. We have to go to the doctor….”
“If you can get an appointment” cried somebody. “I had to wait three days for help with my gout.”
“He tells us when we can see him and then we get ten minutes and a lecture on our weight and drinking.” Mr. Angry finished his pint. “The answer is to encourage private health care by allowing tax relief on the premiums.”
“If you pay tax and you can afford the premiums” said an onlooker.
“Don’t get bogged down in detail” replied Mr. Angry. “Just consider the brilliance of my idea.”
“But Ed says we’re One Nation. Surely that means we get the health care we need.”
“No. What he meant was we’ll all have to wait for health care. That’s why my thinking is so constructive.”
“When did you last pay any income tax?” asked Rita.
“Must go. I lose my benefits if I don’t convince the doctor I’m not drinking anymore.