Mr. Angry loses interest

The crowd of his admirers in the Moaning Cow public house rose as one to applaud Mr. Angry. He had completed a lunchtime destruction of the Chancellor of the Exchequer even before he began drinking his fifth pint of strong lager.

“Friends” he yelled “Gideon Osborne has stolen £575 from me.”

“Shame” cried a fan from the bar.

“How’s he done that Mr. Angry?” asked Rita the barmaid.

“Funding for lending.”

“Come again Mr. Angry”.

“It’s this cheap money scheme for the banks and the building societies.”

“Wasn’t that supposed to help small businesses Mr. Angry?”

“Nobody told Vince.  Anyway friends the banks are lending money to consumers so they get cheap money from the Government. As a result savings rates have fallen. On 13 June, when the scheme was announced, you could get 4.65% on a five-year deposit. That’s fallen to 3.5%. Britain’s pensioners are hurting. I blame Gideon.”

“But isn’t it good that borrowing rates have fallen?” asked a thoughtful lady fan.

“Griselda. You’re missing the point. I care about Britain’s pensioners. They can’t afford to lose interest.”

“It’s Gideon’s fault” yelled somebody by the fruit machine.

“It’s hurting me” shouted Mr. Angry. “Me and Mrs. Angry have got £10,000 in our savings account. I’m losing £575 in interest.”

“But how do you get your benefits cheques so easily Mr. Angry. I thought that nice Mr. Iain Duncan Smith has said that…”

“Mr. Angry are you leaving us rather suddenly…?” asked Rita the barmaid.

Please leave a comment - we all like them