Tickets are selling quickly for Mr. Angry’s ‘State of the Nation’ speech next Sunday at the Moaning Cow public house. He traditionally gives this the weekend before the Chancellor’s Autumn Statement which this year is on Wednesday 5 December 2012.
However Mr. Angry is so worried about our economic position that he rehearsed his presentation yesterday for his adoring disciples.
“Friends” he cried. “October’s public borrowing was £8.6bn compared to £5.9bn a year ago.”
“Shame” cried the man playing the fruit machine.
“But it gets worse. We are heading for a budget deficit of around £130bn compared to the forecast of £120bn.”
“Who made that Mr. Angry. Ed Miliband?” joked an admirer.
“My friends, I Alexander Nero Angry never forget things. The original forecast in 2010 was £89bn. We are in deep problems and I blame….”
“You blame everybody” shouted Rita the barmaid.
“George blames Iain Duncan Smith. He wants him to cut welfare spending which he’ll do next autumn 2013 when the universal credit is introduced.”
“Mr. Angry. Did you know that welfare spending is up 7.7% this year. I thought you lot we supposed to cutting things?”
“It’s because of unemployment” prompted Mrs. Angry who put her knitting to one side to drink her brandy and Babysham.
“No it isn’t Mrs. Angry. Unemployment is still around 2.5 million people which is not much different from three years ago.”
“So what’s the problem Mr. Angry?”
“Some is down to inflation and the rest is because this Government is failing to deal with benefit greed.”
“What was that about our triple AAA rating Mr. Angry?”
“It’s about credit risk and the cost of borrowing. It’s what the Government pays foreigners to fund our debt. The country and people generally borrow too much: they’re greedy. It appals me.”
“Mr. Angry. It’s the PayDay Loan Company on the phone. The papers are ready for you to sign. Mr. Angry….!?”