Less than a week after his heart-rendering split from Nadine Mr. Angry has announced to his fans at the Moaning Cow public house that he’s in love again.
“Who with?” cried his friend Damien as he handed him his fifth pint of strong lager.
“Yvette” cried the ecstatic personality.
“Yvette Hooper. She’s shadow Chancellor in David Miliband’s shadow cabinet.”
“But she’s married Mr. Angry” yelled Vicky the bar maid.
“Did you see her on Telly last night.”
“Who Mr. Angry?”
“We thought you said she’s called Yvette?” shouted a voice from near the fruit machine.
“You’re not listening”. Mr. Angry slammed his glass on the table. “Rebecca plays Nicola Murray MP in ‘The Thick of it’ on BBC2 last night. It’s called political satnav or something like that. Nicola is obviously Yvette Hooper who in real life is the next leader of the Labour Party.
“How do you know that Mr. Angry?” Mrs. Angry had now arrived having collected their social services benefits cheques.
“Pre-distribution. This is Ed Balls new political doctrine. It’s obviously political suicide because it’s complete nonsense. It will lead to Labour electing a new leader – Yvette – and when she meets me…”
“I thought you were seeing Rebecca…er…Nicola Mr. Angry?”
“Am I the only one with brains. Telly last night was foretelling that Yvette will take over as Labour leader. When she meets me I just know that…”
“She’s married to Ed Balls Mr. Angry” screamed Vicky from the bar. “He’s a bruiser. Labour’s hard man.”
“I think this pre-distribution is a great idea” said Mr. Angry rather rushing his pint before taking Mrs. Angry off to bingo.