The lunchtime crowd in the Moaning Cow public house was in raptures as Mr. Angry gave his lager inspired reaction to the EU budget defeat suffered by Dave the Grave in Westminster during the week.
“Friends” he slurred. “It was a democratic vote. No more money to Europe. ‘No’ means ‘no’ and what do I find? It’s not binding.”
“Yes Mr. Angry” yelled a supporter “but will the PM go against the will of Parliament?”
“It’s not that simple Arthur. Even if Dave achieves a budget freeze the UK bill rises by £270m.”
“It all Tony Blair’s fault” cried a voice from the back.
“Who said that?” shouted Mr. Angry. “My Tony was the greatest prime minister we’ve ever had. He ended boom and bust.”
“Wasn’t that Gordon?” asked Rita the bar maid.
“Tony Blair agreed extra payments to low-income countries in Eastern Europe” continued the voice from the back. “It will cost the UK $1.9bn over the next seven years.”
“Dave will have to use his veto” said Mr. Angry. “I write to him to tell him what to do.”
“That’s no good” continued Arthur. “If there’s no agreement, which there won’t be if Dave uses his veto, the budget increases with the rate of inflation.”
“It’s Monsieur Angry to the rescue” announced Mr. Angry. “I’ll go to Paris and tell the French President “non monsieur, non. Nil budget pour nous.”
“But the Benefits Office have taken possession of your car” said Mrs. Angry.
“Mr. Angry” shouted Rita. “Where are you going? You haven’t finished your pint.”