Invest in Angry Investments: 1,000% return guaranteed

Nobody works an audience like Mr. Angry.

So it proved at last Thursday’s presentation at the Moaning Cow public house when he addressed a group of fifty ‘crowd-funders’. They marvelled at his oratory:

“My friends, my new business, Angry Enterprises, will invest in fashion shops. Mrs. Angry is being paid £200,000 a year to be our specialist consultant. She knows about these things.”

“Are you regulated Mr. Angry?”

“No need Bill. The Finances Sector Authority is too busy trying to close Barclays Bank to worry about crowd-funding.”

“But is my money safe. I’m thinking of putting in £100. I like fashion retailers.”

“Safe as houses Enid and what’s more I promise you 1,000% profit. Where’s your cheque?”

“But Mr. Angry your last three businesses failed.”

“I was unlucky Jerry but just think about it. The fact that the FSA are not stopping crowd-funding must mean it is safe.”

“Are you covered by the compensation scheme Mr. Angry?”

“No need George. I’m guaranteeing 1,000% return.”

“I’ve read Mr. Angry that the FSA are saying that crown-funding should be addressed to sophisticated investors.”

“That’s you mate. Why else would you be in this pub?”

“Good point Mr. Angry. Here’s my £500. Don’t tell the missus.”

“Just give me your money before you leave. Sorry the wife wants me.”

“Mr. Angry, You’re a genius. We’ve got nearly £2,000 in.”

“What time is the taxi arriving Mrs. Angry.”

“7.00pm Mr. Angry. We fly out of Gatwick at 9.00am and we reached Tahiti in the afternoon.”

“Us entrepreneurs need our holidays Mrs. Angry. I’m exhausted banking these cheques.”

 

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