The Sunday midday crowd at the Moaning Cow public house was rocked by the news that Mr. and Mrs. Angry are to divorce. As they held hands and laughed with each other nobody could believe their statement read out earlier announcing the end of fifty years of marriage.
“Friends” shouted Mr. Angry. “You know me as a great entrepreneur with a track record of success.”
“What century was that Mr. Angry?” yelled a voice from by the fruit machine.
“Well now I’ll show my true greatness when it comes to making money.” He paused to drink his fifth pint of lunchtime lager. “It’s this story in the papers. The high powered business woman who is divorcing her husband because he won’t agree to try some of the techniques in that book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.”
“Yes” chimed in Mrs. Angry. “She wanted to pep up her nocturnal activities but he didn’t respond. Fancy.”
“The husband” continued Mr. Angry “is agreeing to ‘unreasonable behaviour’ so they can have a quick settlement.”
“But how does that make you and Mrs. Angry money?” cried Rita the bar maid.
“Ah” cried Mr. Angry. “This is where my business genius makes me a man apart. I looked into the case and it seems that the real problem is the growth of adultery websites. Women are advertising for no strings sex but the husbands seem to find out and usually want a divorce. So me and Mrs. Angry are starting our own website ‘Angry Liaisons’. Mrs. Angry will visit all the ladies and tell them of her own divorce. It’ll make them feel comfortable. She’ll then take lots of money off them. And we’ll be rich.”
“So when does your business venture get underway Mr. Angry?” asked an admirer.
“Well we’re a bit behind because Mrs Angry is showing too much interest in Christian and Ana’s relationship and it’s taking us a long time to read the book.”
“Time for another pint Mr. Angry?” shouted Rita.
“No thanks. Chapter fifteen looks particularly good – for business reasons you understand.”