Drink alcohol that is.
When people discover my background, I am often asked this question,
Do you think that you’ll ever drink alcohol again?
My answer is usually the same, I advise that I am not a fortune teller and have no way of absolutely and definitely predicting how I will behave in the future. However having not drunk any alcohol for approaching eight years and possessing extensive knowledge of it I feel that it is very unlikely.
I often witness expressions of sheer horror when I announce that my remaining years or decades of life will be lived without using alcohol. I have some empathy with how they may be feeling as when I decided to stop drinking I simply could not imagine my life without alcohol. The thought of experiencing the world how it really is all of the time without being able to ‘get away’ from myself was difficult to imagine.
However things are very different now. I regularly visit pubs to listen to music or eat, sometimes both. Fortunately I am not tempted to drink alcohol and will often watch the decline of some of the other customers as they go through the process from sober and functioning to drunk and incapable.
In fact I probably spend more time spending money in pubs now than I ever did when I was drinking alcohol, and given the level of tax and duty involved I expect that the landlords are seeing more profit from the food and soft drinks than they are from the beer, wine and spirits.
Some observers have suggested that I should avoid pubs and bars, maybe even the alcohol sections in the supermarkets in case I feel the urge to have a sudden relapse and start emptying the shelves on the spot and drinking myself into oblivion. It has even been suggested by some that I will probably resume drinking when I experience the next ‘major’ life event such as the loss of someone close.
Fortunately I understand that alcohol will never change anything, only temporarily alter my perception of it and it will just make me feel different for a while. I can relax without, socialise without it and I have resolved many of my underlying fears and issues so that I can live without feeling the need to drink it.
I don’t drink alcohol because I choose not to. I am ‘fortunate’ in that I have experienced both ends of the scale, full blown dependence and alcoholism and living without drinking it.
So will he or won’t he?
I don’t see the point of drinking it now to be honest, but then I would say that wouldn’t I?