It’s the EB debate: are you ‘For’ or ‘Against’?

“David Cameron is stirring up enterprise in Great Britain. Discuss.”

FOR: Samantha Cameron. “I think David is sexy and wonderful. I am sure he will do it. I would support him but I’ve only eighteen weeks left for me and my advisers to choose my outfit for the Royal Wedding.”

AGAINST: ‘Financial Times’ 6 January 2011. “David Cameron will shortly be stirring up apathy in the north and Midlands as he preaches enterprise to inhabitants.”

FOR: Sir Richard Lambert. “Absolutely. He will be dynamic. Wish I’d done it when I was running the CBI. Thanks for the Knighthood Dave.”

AGAINST: Bernard Jenkin MP. “The whole process was rushed and poorly handled and should have been thought through a lot more.”
(Please note. Mr.Jenkin misunderstood matters. As Chairman of the Public Administration Committee he thought the question concerned Dave’s botched attempt to abolish hundreds of quangos and save money)

FOR: Lord Jones (Digby) of Birmingham. “As a Gordon Brown ‘Goat’ and Trade Minister in 2007, I am well placed to evaluate what a complete waste of time this is. However, I am always available and consider it sensible to back Dave.”

AGAINST: Ed Miliband. “I am speechless.”

FOR: Vince Cable. “As Business Secretary I have much to say on this on this subject. Are you from the ‘Daily Telegraph?”

AGAINST: Gordon Brown. “As my brilliant new book (Beyond The Crash: 50% off at W.H. Smith) reveals: I am truly the global ambassador. Cameron should read my books first.”

SPOILT ENTRY: Tony Blair. “Have a look at my bank accounts and my property empire. That’s enterprise.”

UNDECIDED: Stephen Hester. “As the chief executive of RBS I am too focused on my possible £2.5m bonus to comment.”

Ed. The results of the EB debate will be published next week in ‘The Big Issue.’

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