The breakfast fairy

I’ve written recently about staying in a different sort of hotel, rather than a eurobox like Premier Inns.

Sometimes, though, I get to stay in the very best hotel in the world…

Me mum’s.

What with being an only child and all I think my mum quite likes it when I come to stay for a week (which I do 4 times a year) whilst delivering a course in Norwich.

This manifests itself in several ways, but mostly around breakfast time.  My mum and dad are retired so don’t get up particularly early, so it must be the breakfast fairy at work.  You see, I get up about 6.45 and stagger through to the bathroom for a shower.  By the time I bounce back to my bedroom fully refreshed and ready to face the day there’s always tea and toast waiting for me.

I never see who prepares the breakfast, so I always thought it was the fairies.

But my dad dispelled the myth by telling me it was mum.  ‘How do you do it?’  Says he.  ‘I’ve been married to her for fifty years and she doesn’t make my breakfast for me.’

All I could was shrug my shoulders and look just a little bit smug.

But there was an added benefit to this scenario that was unforeseen.

On Friday, after the course had finished I decided to stay at my parent’s for an extra night so I could meet up with some old school chums.

The next morning my work shoes, which I’d kicked off in my bedroom, were gleaming… I could see my face in them.  Now, I know I was drunk when I got home, but not so drunk that I couldn’t remember cleaning my shoes, so there must have another explanation.

Indeed there was…

My dad had cleaned them!

But not to be nice to me (that was just a happy coincidence), no, it was to top trump my mum!

Now, I’m not one to pass by a gift horse without having a damn good look around its gums… so I did.

I’m currently negotiating on the shoes… I don’t think one pair of clean shoes is equivalent to five morning’s breakfast, do you?  I think a cleaned car is much more like it.

Hmmm… think I might backing a loser there.

The thing is, though, the cheek of it!  I’m down here for the regular course and my parents have gone on holiday!

Can you believe it?  It’s outrageous!

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