A little while ago I may have accidentally broken the speed limit and had my picture taken by a nice man in a white van.
Damn and blast…
The official notification duly came through basically saying that I was banged to rights and stitched up like a kipper. In other words they had the photographic evidence and there was no point trying to wriggle my way out if it.
So I didn’t. I signed the form, fully expecting to get three points on my license and a fine. But instead I was offered a choice… three points or no points if I attended a Speed Awareness course.
I attended my speed awareness course last week… and jolly funny it was, too!
Now, I was photographed in Lincolnshire, but could attend the course anywhere… except Scotland where I live. The closest course to me was Carlisle and when the trainer asked how many of where from north of the border more than half the attendees put their hands up… that’s important for the rest of the story.
The course started with the two trainers introducing themselves and going through some housekeeping, which included the following sentence:
‘We won’t tolerate sexist, rascist or any form of abusive language or behaviour… we don’t expect any, but we have to say it.’
So imagine my surprise when almost the first thing the trainer said was ‘wing mirrors are under used… when I lend my car to my wife I never have to adjust the mirrors… and she’s a good little driver!’
Oh… priceless. But then it got better.
Apparently some versions of motability scooters are allowed on dual carriageways. Ready to cringe? This was the comment: ‘…so you might see an invalid carriage on the road…’
Oh dear. But then it got worse: remember where most participants are from?
Apparently, last year there were 2,222 fatalities on Britain’s roads. This is what the trainer said: ‘…that’s the equivalent of seven jumbo jets falling out of the sky!’
What happened on Wednesday 21st December, 1988, not 25 miles from where we were sitting, in the skies over the town of… Lockerbie?
It’s a shame because the course was actually very good. It was well put together, used some really good visuals, started and finished on time and encouraged participation from the varied audience. Most importantly, the two guys leading the course were completely non-judgemental.
I learned a lot, but I was sitting next to a guy from Lockerbie and I’m not sure he listened particularly closely after a certain comment.