Page 411 of the standard excuse book

Alright, I admit it… this blog is not really about franchising at all. Except that it was written in America, the home of franchising. Does that count?

No?

Never mind.

I’ve been thinking about excuses recently, mostly because I’ve heard a few daft ones recently and I thought I might start a collection and write a book about them so people could actually use them.

You know the sort of thing… ‘Sorry I’m five hours late for work, my friend’s budgie suffered a heart attack and I had to rush it to hospital, but on the way I had to foil a bank robbery and accept a civic award.’

I recently heard one even sillier than that. There are new procedures for getting into the States. If you have a transfer to another US city you have to collect your bags at your first stop, even if they have been booked all the way through to your final destination.

In Minneapolis (sorry, the twin cities of Minneapolis and St Paul) I had to wait for my bag before I could transfer to my next flight (which was less than forty minutes away!)

Twenty minutes later and the tannoy sounded: ‘We’re sorry for the delay in your baggage. There must have been moisture in the cargo hold of your ‘plane and the doors have frozen closed.’

Collective groan.

The thing was, I was standing at the windows looking at the ‘plane we’d just arrived on, with all the cargo doors standing wide open and the ground crew standing round drinking coffee!

What was really funny was that I picked my bag off the carousel (eventually), carried it about twenty feet and out it went on another one, from which is disappeared.

Nice excuse, though.

Actually, there was another one, whilst waiting in the queue for the Border Agency. I guy came passed each of us saying, ‘Sorry, can I come in front of you? I have a flight connection in less than thirty minutes. I’m Canadian.’

Why he had to add that he was Canadian, I don’t know. But it seemed reasonable, so I let him through… only to be tapped on the shoulder by a very small, elderly lady dressed in a sari. She was following the Canadian down the queue saying, ‘I have a flight connection in less than thirty minutes.’

Oh, really? But what could I do?

Later: the word ‘sucker’ should be tattooed across my forehead. The Indian lady was on the same connecting flight as me!

Still, it’s a useful excuse to use sometime in the future and you can have that one for free. What are the worst/best excuses you’ve heard or used? I could well find a use for them myself if ever I had the guts to use them!

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