Drink Champagne, not water – it’s cheaper!

Outrage is an emotion I feel on a fairly regular basis, but this time I think I have more reason than usual to feel outraged.

I’ve just received my water bill from Scottish Water.

How much do you reckon I’ve been asked to pay for water for a year?

Nope, you’re quite wrong.


That’s £64.98 a month or £3.25 a day… for water.

Okay, I hear you say, you must be running a pretty big manufacturing operation. There are five of us based in the office permanently (and one of those is a dog), with the rest out on the road. We have a sink, a fridge, a kettle and a toilet.

Between the five of us, I calculated that we drink 10 cups of coffee a day, four glasses of water and two glasses of squash. The toilet is flushed, on average fifteen times a day. It’s an economy loo so I reckon that’s three litres a flush, so we must use about 50 litres a day.

Tesco’s still table water costs 17p for two litres, which means we could have bottled water for everything, including flushing the loo for just a pound a day more.

Now, add to this, the fact that Scottish Water is outsourcing the reading of metres and that we’ve had metre readers out three times this year and none of them actually managed to get the information back to head office and it makes me wonder what I’m paying the money for.

Well… I can tell you, ‘cos I called Scottish Water and asked what I was getting for my £779.71.

Here’s the list of what we pay for:

  • Scottish Water to collect the rain water out of the guttering attached to our office and get it into the SW system
  • The water running into the drains outside our office
  • Hire of the water metre
  • A constantly filling cistern, which we have to have, according to SW
  • …and then a nominal fee for the water we actually used
  • …oh, and the three pointless visits by people reading the mtre and then doing nothing with the info

In other words, we pay very little for the water, it’s all surcharges.

Of course, I can’t talk to anyone about the bill, because it’s all outsourced and the metre reading company is different from the one that collects the water and this is different from the company that runs the call centre.

No-one, it would seem, is in charge of our water.

Not much to do with HR, I know, but I don’t care…

And I feel better for it!

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