There was once a Business Secretary called Vince

“There was once a Business Secretary called Vince
Whose very name made corporate Britain wince
Said he “First past the post
Is as real as dry toast
I’ll make you all wish David Cameron had won another twenty seats and there was a Conservative Government.”
BUT he didn’t and there is now a coalition Government blaming everything on Gordon Brown.
Vince Cable has a rather macho personality: he is relishing a decision to find £900 million savings in the Business Department budget over the next nine months. He is culling regional developments agencies in the south, bashing quangos and reviewing some last minute grants and loans agreed by Lord Mandelson. He is, strangely, being allowed to keep £200 million. His pal Nicky is ecstatic.
His mate, the Rt Hon David Laws MP, Chief Secretary to the Treasury (aka George), ignoring the fact he was Lib-Dem shadow for Education, is full of politically correct crap.
In his speech today, announcing £6.2 billion cuts, he said “I am grateful to every member of the cabinet for their co-operation”. Do me a favour! Those dedicated Conservative MPs who have been passed over so that Nicky can have his share of Coalition Government are VERY pissed off.
He continued “Our huge public debts threaten financial stability and if left unchecked will de-rail the economy recovery.”
This derailing is rather serious because Vince the Wince is saving £10 million by making Civil Servants travel second class. “Profligate” sermonised Vince having sat up all night reading his Thesaurus. Second class passengers are more likely to suffer injury in a train crash, mainly because they are herded together like cattle, on many lines. My unofficial estimate is that with staff departures (some will go back to Public School and take up cushy teaching posts), confusion, increased sickies and personal injury claims, Vince will achieve a net loss of around £2 million.
Back to Lawless territory. He has decided how to spend Vince’s £200 million. £150 million will deliver up to 50,000 adult apprenticeship starts and £50 million to fund the Colleges Capital Programme.
Wait for it: “There will be many more tough decisions ….. when the Prime Minister (“note to PA. Please add Dave and Sam to Christmas card list) asked the Chancellor and me (through gritted teeth) to come to the Treasury at this time of great national challenge, we were determined that we would together to deliver three objectives.”
One and three are political posturing.
Two is “to nurture the economic recovery”.
Well, Chief Secretary, Enterprise Britain is waiting with baited breath.

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