EB secret agents witness Browngate flogging…

To their amazement EB secret agents were invited in to the last of the secret meetings between the three Party bosses before the final Leaders’ Debate. It proved a momentous occasion.

Nicky (aka Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats): “Sit down lads. Gordon. I’ve bought you a present.”

Gord (aka Gordon Brown, The Prime Minister): “What is it? A book…?”

Nicky: “It is by Dale Carnegie. It is called ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ It has been a best seller for many years.”

Gord: “S**** your b***** book.”

Dave (aka David Cameron, Leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party): “We’d like you to read it Gordon.”

Gord: “Is this some Public School game?”

Dave: “I am certainly in a mood to show you what can be done with a poker Gordon, but “no”, this is about you referring to Ms. Duffy as a bigot. Nick and I will not mention it tonight on air but we certain intend discussing it now.”

Gord: “I have apologised. I went to her home against my adviser’s wishes.”

Nicky: “PR confetti. What angers David and I is that what you said, with the mike on, after what was a reasonable exchange of views, indicates that you are, deep down, unstable. Mrs. Duffy is not a bigot and nothing she said justifies the use of that word.”

Dave: “Gordon, politics is a mess. The expenses scandal has deeply hurt us. The first two debates went well even allowing for that ludicrous media smile of yours.”

Nicky: “And you have managed to undo it all with your true self coming out.”

Dave: “And you hurt us you stupid ********”

Gord: “And you two boy wonders don’t make mistakes?”

Nicky: “That’s the point Gordon. It wasn’t a mistake. It was you being you.”

Dave: “We can’t do anything about it now but Nick and I just want you to…”

Gord: “The public know I am sincere…”

Dave: “You’ve been listening to Ed Balls again Gordon. Now where are the EB secret agents. We knew you were there from the beginning. Have you recorded all we said about enterprising businesses. SamCam wrote it all.

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