EB secret agents triumph again…

Despite the havoc caused last week by the publication of the tape recording of a secret meeting of the three party leaders three hours before the historic first televised Leaders’ Debate, EB agents again managed to record the same meeting held before the second national debate. They disguised themselves as concerned voters and were thus ignored.

Dave (aka David Cameron, Leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party): “Nick, my dear fellow, sit yourself down and have a glass of Dom Perignon.”

Nicky (aka Nick Clegg, Leader of the Liberal Democrats): “Thank you David. Splendid. Temperature’s spot on.”

Dave: “You were terrific last week Nick. The way you remembered all the names of the questioners. Brilliant.”

Nicky: “Must relate to the masses David especially when you are a Liberal.”

Gord (aka Gordon Brown, The Prime Minister): “B*******s. I was the star. Statesman-like. That’s what the commentators said.”

Nicky: “Who, Gordon, who said that?”

Gord: “Ed Balls.”

Dave: “Now chaps I did have a problem with SamCam. She said that any reference to encouraging enterprise sounded weak. The problem is that we don’t have any serious policies. Come to that George hasn’t any policies on anything and Ken is calling in the IMF. If only Michael could fill all the Shadow Cabinet positions.”

Nicky: “Michael Howard?”

Dave: (laughing) “No, no. Michael Gove. He’s brilliant.”

Gord: “Do you really understand his educational policies David?”

Dave “Not really. He is so hyper and speaks so quickly I can’t understand what he says but SamCam likes him.”

Nicky: “Well you two are in deep s**t over my devastating proposal to scrap Trident. It will save eighty billion.”

Gord: “Prove it.”

Nicky: “Vince actually has little idea about the actual saving but it has caught everyone on the hop. How about if I suggest we will allocate two billion to enterprising businesses?”

Gord: “Harriot.”

Nicky: “Harriot what?”

Gord: “Harriot said how statesman-like I was. She phoned Sarah. She was on for over an hour. I wanted to order a pizza. Mind you fifty minutes was a rant about Peter Mandelson.”

Nicky: “What do enterprising businesses want from us?”

Gord: “Me as Prime Minister.”

Dave: “How do you know that Gordon?”

Gord: “Ed Balls told me.”

To be continued…….

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