Well Hung

I don’t know about you, but I’m far too young to remember the last time there was a hung parliament, having not started Political Studies at primary school…

But my esteemed colleagues Mr van Dijl and Mr Dury have told me all about how it works, making the long winter nights, here at Enterprise Britain HQ, simply fly by!

And now we actually have one and I quite like it, if you set aside the uncertainty, the endless waiting and the constant analysis from the newsrooms where there actually isn’t much to analyse anymore.

Why do I like it?

Well, there’s a crisis in the Euro zone, which means no-one is looking at us.

And the crisis seems to have been alleviated in the short term by a €750 (it actually sounds much better quoted in dollars because you can make it almost a trillion!) bail out by other Euro zone countries… and the great thing is that the UK didn’t have to contribute much at all. The markets are on the rise, interest rates have stabilised and the world has been saved.

And we had nothing to do with it… no expectations on us and no pressure.

Because we haven’t got a government, we don’t have to do anything; so far it seems that everything is running fine, there are still Police on the streets, my children have gone to school this morning and there were teachers to teach them…

The Civil Service is doing a great job and I haven’t missed not being governed one little bit.

Secondly, it’s great that we’re not getting endless hours of bullsh… well, half truths and negative campaigning that, I have to say, was really wearing me down. Now the parties are talking agreement, similarities and love-ins… all for the National Good.

But I have a problem with this… we’ve heard it so many times since Friday morning… let me replay it to you again: ‘We’re going to work together for the National Good.’

Now, what this says to me is this: before we found ourselves in this position we would only work together as a single party for our own ends and not for the National Good.

Why have they suddenly become so altruistic?

Because none of the numpties have been able to get themselves elected, that’s why. And, if you really think about it, it’s obvious why this has happened. After the recession and the expenses scandal the electorate really does see the parties as bad as each other.

So, what can we conclude from all of this?

Mr van Dijl, who is so much older and more experienced than me, says that a hung parliament is a good thing… that it means legislation is more rounded and there is true democracy, all the time, not just once every five years.

So far, I have to say, it’s been a breeze. I like this new world of the Dave and Nick Love- In.

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