Tony Drury is away. However, Enterprise Britain has received, in a plain brown envelope, the following report of a high level political meeting in a kitchen somewhere near the West Oxfordshire boundary.
SC: “Darling. Good morning. You do look lovely in your lycra shorts”.
DC: “That’s great news for Stevie. He says I must win the woman’s vote”.
SC: “Darling, You win my vote everyday of the week. Now what’s this nonsense about you not caring about businesses. Some eccentrics on a website?”
DC: “Pass the Muesli Darling and my oils. The press people spotted it.
‘Enterprise Britain’. A group of unemployed pensioners trying to cause trouble”.
SC: “Trouble Darling? Could it mean votes”
DC: “No Beloved. Stevie thinks they all vote Liberal Democrat or UKIP. They are obviously too poor to be Conservatives”.
SC: “But what are they saying?”
DC: “Something about four million people who own businesses being ignored.
The banks don’t like them. Mind you I should mention it to George. He says I must use the word ‘enterprise’ as often as I can.
SC: “George who?”
DC: “George Osborne, the Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer”.
SM: “But I thought that was Kenneth Clarke?”.
DC: “Darling leave the politics to me”.
SM. “But four million is a lot of people?”.
DC: “Yes. I phoned Richard at the CBI but he did not know what is an enterprising business . He asked if they are in the FTSE 100.”
SM: “That’s the post Darling. Shall we see how many dividends we have had today?”
DC: “I spoke to Alan about where to get the best rates of deposit. I know I have just sacked him but he did not seem keen to help. He suggested the Iceland Banks”.
SC: “Well David you are not helping the situation. If you join this silliness about Bankers’ bonuses we will never improve our Bank dividends.”
DC: “Darling being a world leader means we have to make sacrifices.”
SC: “Of course. I understand that. But only in the short term. They estimate Tony Blair is now worth over £20 million. Have you seen his new home?”
DC: “He never mentioned Enterprising Britain. He left it all to Gordon.”
SC: “That explains everything.”